© 2025 Texas Public Radio
Real. Reliable. Texas Public Radio.
Play Live Radio
Next Up:
0:00
0:00
0:00 0:00
Available On Air Stations

4 negotiation tactics to try in everyday life

Drypsiak
/
Getty Images

Negotiation skills aren't just for high-stakes situations like job offers and pay raises. They can be used in daily life, like figuring out where you and your friends should go on vacation or what you and your partner should cook for dinner tonight.

They can also help you get what you want and make decisions with more confidence, says Joan Moon, a career coach and the head of negotiation coaching at the Negotiation and Conflict Resolution Collaboratory at the Harvard Kennedy School. "They can improve your satisfaction with your situation and give you a sense that you are making intentional choices."

Moon explains four classic negotiation tactics often used in business environments — and how they can be applied in everyday circumstances.

The tactic: Benchmarking

How to use it in everyday life: When making big consumer choices, like hiring a contractor to renovate your kitchen, buying a car or purchasing a new washing machine.

Alisa Zahoruiko
/
Getty Images

How it works: This strategy allows you to gather the information you need to make a fair decision. It's when you compare an offer to market standards and best practices, "then figure out where you lie within that range" to get an optimal deal. In business, people often use benchmarking in salary negotiations to ensure they're being paid equitably, says Moon.

The tactic: Win-win strategy

How to use it in everyday life: When you're trying to find a solution to a problem that makes everyone happy, like picking out a place to eat or haggling for a good price at a yard sale.

Alisa Zahoruiko
/
Getty Images

How it works: This helps different parties find one solution that's in everyone's interest. You might see this in business contracts or labor agreements, for example. Parties won't sign until the terms are mutually beneficial.

Try this when you want the other party to not just agree with your decision, but feel good about it. Moon shares a recent personal experience. Her phone line was down so she called her phone company to get reconnected — but the customer service agents were unhelpful. She could feel herself getting upset, so she decided to reframe her request using a win-win strategy.

She said: "Listen, I've been with this company for 10 years and I would like to keep doing so for another 10 years. Can we focus on a solution?"

The approach worked, she says. The company didn't want to lose a loyal customer — and Moon wanted her phone fixed.

The tactic: A menu of options

How to use it in everyday life: When you want to get something done and won't take no for an answer.

Alisa Zahoruiko
/
Getty Images

How it works: This approach avoids requests that result in a flat-out no answer. People often use this tactic when negotiating the benefits of a job offer, says Moon. For example, instead of asking for more flexibility at a new job and getting rejected, you might propose a couple of options: working three days remote or a four-day workweek, expanding the possibility of a favorable outcome.

Offer "a menu of options" to someone if they think only one solution is possible. Let's say you're upset with your roommate for being messy, says Moon. Instead of asking them to clean up (which they haven't been doing), give them choices: hire a housekeeper, change the breakdown of responsibilities at home or adjust the cleaning schedule. "When you present options, it signals to the other person: let's solve this problem together," says Moon.

The tactic: Best Alternative to Negotiated Agreement

How to use it in everyday life: When you know you're not likely going to get the outcome you want, so you create a plan that helps you avoid a total-lose situation. For example, when you're planning a trip with friends who want to go on a tropical vacation, but you want to go to a big city. Maybe you settle on Miami!

Alisa Zahoruiko
/
Getty Images

How it works: Negotiators use BATNA to come up with a backup plan when their desired outcome isn't possible. It helps avoid a total win-lose situation and shows the person you're negotiating with that you have a strong alternative, which can increase your leverage in a situation. You might use BATNA when comparing job offers with unfavorable conditions. For example, one job requires you to relocate your family to another state, while the other job pays less but is local. Your BATNA might be to tell both jobs that you will stay at your current gig and unless they can offer something better.