© 2020 Texas Public Radio
Real. Reliable. Texas Public Radio.
Play Live Radio
Next Up:
0:00
0:00
Available On Air Stations

Panel Questions

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Tom, this week, candy stores across the country are struggling to keep up with a suddenly high demand for what candy?

TOM BODETT: Is it, like, a new, fancy candy that I'd have no idea...

SAGAL: No, it's an old, un-fancy (ph) candy that people are afraid won't be available anymore.

BODETT: Oh, Necco Wafers?

SAGAL: Yes, Necco Wafers.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BODETT: Oh, god, that was a guess.

FAITH SALIE: Well done.

BODETT: Yes. But it is. It's an old candy that nobody likes.

SAGAL: But...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Well, let me explain. Necco Wafers - they're, of course, flattened out Tums antacids repackaged as candy.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: Right.

SALIE: But...

BODETT: And gravel.

SAGAL: Exactly. Well, the company that makes them - which it does by pulverising mouse bones and...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Bonding the resulting dust together with denture cream...

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: With a little food coloring.

SAGAL: ...May be going out of business.

BODETT: Right, because now you've given the secrets away.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So the resulting demand is caused sales of Necco Wafers, which are best used as coasters for tiny glasses of Ensure...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Sales are skyrocketing. The recipe for the wafers has not changed - this is true - since the Civil War when they were devised to help Union soldiers with gangrene suffer more.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And now, a word from our new sponsor - uh oh.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "CANDY SHOP")

50 CENT: (Rapping) Yeah, uh-huh, so seductive. I'll take you to the candy shop.

SAGAL: Coming up, our panelists are thirsty for revenge. It's our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME from NPR. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.