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Lightning Fill In The Blank

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Alonzo has three. Joanna has three. And Maeve has five.

MAEVE HIGGINS: Oh, my God.

SAGAL: Oh, my goodness.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right. So Alonzo and Joanna are tied for second. I'm going to arbitrarily pick Alonzo to go first. Here we go, Alonzo. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, the U.S. broke another record for daily reported blank cases.

ALONZO BODDEN: Coronavirus.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the CDC released a study showing that blanks help the wearer almost as much as those around them.

BODDEN: The mask?

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a school in France asked parents to stop blanking when they're late for school.

BODDEN: Honking?

SAGAL: No, they've asked parents to stop throwing their kids over the fence. On Wednesday, New York City announced a pilot program to have emergency workers handle mental health calls without involving blank.

BODDEN: The police.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Best known for his 30-year run on Jeopardy, this game show host passed away at the age of 80 on Sunday.

BODDEN: Who is Alex Trebek?

SAGAL: Exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After the wedding dress she was sent...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Looked nothing like the one she ordered, a bride-to-be wrote the boutique a scathing email and was told blank in response.

BODDEN: Make it work?

SAGAL: No, the boutique told her that the dress was fine; she was just wearing it inside out.

HIGGINS: (Laughter).

SAGAL: The woman was furious. The dress looked so different. The ruffles were covered up by some sort of liner. The back had an ugly seam running up it. And worst of all, it was covered in tags that said David's Bridal. Turns out she was wearing it inside out. Now that the disaster is averted, the bride said she's looking forward to the big day when she can stand at the altar, look her beloved in the eyes and finally say, do I?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Alonzo do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Alonzo had four right for eight more points. He now has 11 and the lead.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

SAGAL: All right. Well done, Alonzo. OK, Joanna, you're up next. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, Democratic challenger Cal Cunningham conceded his Senate race in blank.

JOANNA HAUSMANN: Michigan?

SAGAL: No, North Carolina. This week, Joe Biden named Ron Klain as his new blank.

HAUSMANN: Oh, God. I know this. I know this. Friend. I don't remember.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Chief of staff. On Tuesday...

HAUSMANN: Chief of staff.

SAGAL: On Tuesday, an internal report from the Vatican found that blank knew about sexual misconduct allegations against a high-ranking cardinal.

HAUSMANN: Oh, the pope.

SAGAL: You know, I'm going to give it to you.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: It was Pope John Paul II. He's a pope. This week, a woman in Australia contested a ticket she got for distracted driving, saying police mistook her blank for a cellphone.

HAUSMANN: Her car?

SAGAL: No, her ice cream sandwich.

BODDEN: (Laughter).

SAGAL: After its release on Thursday, scalpers began selling the new blank video game system for over three times its retail price.

HAUSMANN: PS5?

SAGAL: Yes, PlayStation 5.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After constructing a new intersection...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Government officials at Prince Edward Island in Canada had to release 11 safety videos explaining how to blank.

HAUSMANN: Turn?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: How to make a left turn, specifically. Prince Edward Island, which is a way better tourist destination than Prince Andrew Island, was hoping to prevent accidents on their new intersection, which features confusing turns and oddly placed lights. But instead of redesigning it, they produced 11 separate videos to help explain the intersection of drivers. The first five of these videos are pretty good, but it really jumps the median in episode six.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Joanna do?

KURTIS: She had three right for six more points. She now has 9, but Alonzo still has the lead with 11.

SAGAL: All righty. So the big question is, how many does Maeve need to win?

KURTIS: Three to tie, which means she needs four to win.

SAGAL: Let's do it, yes.

HIGGINS: All right.

SAGAL: On Wednesday, blank announced a recount by hand of all its presidential votes.

HIGGINS: Georgia.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In a tweet on Monday, Trump fired Mark Esper, the secretary of blank.

HIGGINS: Defense?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, Housing and Urban Development head blank tested positive for coronavirus.

HIGGINS: Ben Carson.

SAGAL: Yes, Ben Carson.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The marketing wizards at McDonald's have done it again. They announced their plant-based meat alternative is called blank.

HIGGINS: Crappy Meal.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The plant-based meat alternative is called a McPlant.

HIGGINS: (Laughter).

SAGAL: On Tuesday, pop star blank lost her bid to have her father remove fund conservatorship over her estate.

HIGGINS: Oh, my God. Britney Spears.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In an excerpt from his new memoir, blank revealed that the stress of the presidency had him smoking eight cigarettes a day.

HIGGINS: (Singing) Michelle Obama's husband.

SAGAL: Yes, Barack Obama.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a man in the U.K. went online and tried to order a chicken sandwich...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...With no lettuce but was disappointed when Uber Eats delivered blank.

HIGGINS: Did he get a whole chicken?

SAGAL: No, he got a to-go container with just a squirt of ketchup inside.

HIGGINS: (Laughter).

SAGAL: According to British papers, the man wanted, quote, "a chicken burger, you know, without the salad on top."

HIGGINS: Yeah.

SAGAL: So he went to the menu that you get for special instructions in your order. And he unchecked lettuce, but then he also accidentally unchecked bun and chicken. So he was delivered a Styrofoam container with just a splash of ketchup. Bill, did Maeve do well enough to win?

KURTIS: She got five right for 10 more points.

HIGGINS: Oh, my God.

KURTIS: That means she got 15. And she is this week's champion.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

HIGGINS: I'm so happy (laughter).

SAGAL: Congratulations, Maeve. Is this the first time you've won?

BODDEN: Congratulations.

HIGGINS: Yes, this is the first time I've ever won this show by a long shot and just...

HAUSMANN: I am so sorry. I don't concede. So I don't...

(LAUGHTER) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.