Sandwich Monday: The 'Shroom Burger From Shake Shack

By Ian Chillag

Published December 22, 2014 at 4:54 PM CST

If you haven't heard of , it's a hip, growing national chain where Americans go to stand in long lines. Also, it serves food.

We tried the 'Shroom Burger, a breaded and deep-fried cheese-stuffed portobello mushroom patty in a bun. It's topped with lettuce, tomato and the chain's special sauce.

Peter: In order to get the mushrooms stuffed with cheese, they plant the spores in a block of Velveeta.

Miles: It's great how cheese explodes out of it with every bite, which is what I assume cannibals would say if they were eating me.

It tastes like the opposite of how this picture looks.

Peter: Did you know that fungi are not plants? Totally different form of life. It's like eating an alien. A really, really tasty alien.

Miles: I'd ask for seconds, but my stomach doesn't have that mushroom.

Ringo: [rimshot]

We know this isn't the most flattering picture of Peter, but he was so overcome with violent spasms of joy that this is the only one in focus.

Miles: Fine, I'll admit it, the Shake Shack is far more successful than my Shaq Shake, which is a milkshake I invented that can't shoot free throws.

Peter: This sandwich is so good it makes me want to be a vegetarian, except I'd also like to eat meat.

Ian: Cows would like to remind you they still had a small role in this.

[The verdict: quite possibly the best veggie burger ever made. If a veggie burger were going to start a cult with a devout following made up of other, lesser veggie burgers, the 'Shroom Burger would be the one to do it.]

Sandwich Monday is a satirical feature from the humorists at Wait, Wait ... Don't Tell Me!