Sandwich Monday: The Roman-Style Burger

By Ian Chillag

Published August 18, 2014 at 2:04 PM CDT

It may look like a stack of sandwiches. It is.

During World War II, bun rationing meant that burger joints had to find replacements to hold their ground beef patties.

One of the more creative solutions — using grilled cheese sandwiches — lives on at in Chicago. It's called the Roman-Style Burger, and it's a secret menu item.

Peter: Why it is called Roman style? Is it because like Gaul, it is divided into three parts?

Miles: We came, we saw, we were conquered.

Ian: This sandwich wasn't digested in a day.

Robert's spirit briefly possesses Peter.

You can order any sandwich at M Burger "Roman-Style." We went with the Hurt Burger, which has spicy barbecue sauce, jalapenos and pepper jack cheese.

Ian: The fractal nature of using sandwiches as bread for sandwiches makes this sandwich especially delicious for nerds.

Miles: If you replaced the burger with another grilled cheese, this would be the perfect sandwich.

We eat "outside," a strange place also used for something called "exercise."

Peter: I like that we're eating this outside. Tourists will think that's just how we roll. "Oh, yeah, we use grilled cheese sandwiches to pick up everything around here."

Ian: This sandwich is great, because it's so important to get your recommended three meals a meal.

With this cross-section of the Roman-style, we've exceeded our weekly hyphen allotment.

Miles: When in Rome, do as the Romans do: Die young.

Peter: This should come with a vomitorium.

Ian: I ordered mine Roman Mars style but the hot sauce stains on my shirt still appear to be 100 percent visible.

Ann: Next time, we order it Greco-Roman style, two large wrestlers with a grilled cheese in the middle.

[The verdict: More than just a stunt, it's actually a really fine sandwich and the grilled cheese adds a nice buttery note to the spiciness of the burger. And for the record, it actually gets its name from a guy named Roman: the M Burger employee who invented it.]

Sandwich Monday is a satirical feature from the humorists at Wait, Wait ... Don't Tell Me!