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Schoolyard bullies have been around as long as there have been schoolyards, but with new social media technologies comes new ways for bullies to inflict misery. As Texas Public Radio’s David Martin Davies reports an Austin organization is looking to unplug cyber bullies.
November 24, 2009 · It’s Saturday at the Ann Richards School for Young Women Leaders, but the school isn’t deserted – it’s overflowing.
Over a thousand girls are here looking to take part in the GENaustin Girls Now workshop. They are tackling a number of concerns – problems with body image, relationships and getting into and paying for college, but the major issue is bullying.
“Bullying is huge. Bullying has become probably the number one issue talked about in middle school,” said Lolis Garcia Baab, one of the conference organizers. She said she got involved because what happened to her daughter.
“She was with a group of girls that made her life miserable. They had been friends all through elementary school. They got to middle school then all of a sudden they weren’t her friends anymore,” said Garcia Baab.
She said the former friends would make fun of her daughter everyday. They would tear her things up. They would take her belongings from her locker. And they would deliberately exclude her from social events.
“They would invite everyone in the class to a birthday party and not invite her. This sounds really trite to adults but for a child it’s a very very painful thing. And she would get in the car everyday crying,” said Garcia Baab.
What happened to Garcia Baab’s daughter isn’t unique. It’s pervasive and getting worse. It’s so bad that girls bullying girls has its own term: "relational aggression."
“This is a different kind of bullying. It’s not the punching in the playground. It’s a relational aggression, a manipulation of relationships,” said Garcia Baab.
Studies show that girls bullying girls is getting worse, and it’s going online. Between 15 and 35 percent of students say they’ve been victims of cyber bullying. And the worst of it hits during the middle school years, according to the Cyberbullying Research Center.
Alexis Jones, a celebrity model and former Survivor contestant says she too has been the target of cyber bullies.
“I get it all the time. I’m absolutely a victim of cyber hate mail,” she said.
Jones says she gets messages from people who see her on television or speaking to groups and they’ll contact her with disparaging comments about her weight and other physical attributes. She says she’s learned to ignore those comments.
Jones was at the conference to speak to girls about developing the self-confidence needed to fend off those negative comments and media pressures they’ll face everyday.
“Authentic confidence is at the end of the day knowing who you are and what you stand for. I think the minute you know that you have an unwavering ability to brush everyone else off. You just don’t have time to waste, to slow down when other people are trying to get in your way.”
Jones has founded a company to try to help young women develop high self esteem called “I Am That Girl.”
But developing that level of confidence is big challenge said therapist Emily Roberts who specializes in dealing with cyber bullying.
She said teens have a “right now” mentality – it’s difficult for them to visualize a time in the future when the bullying will stop.
Especially since with all the access available to the internet, social media, cell phone technology and web connected games systems – kids can never get away from the reach of cyber bullies.
“Kids can’t get off the bus when they get home from school and be away from it. Because it’s right there on their cell phone. They are getting more harassing text messages. It never goes away,” she said.
Roberts urges parents to closely monitor their children’s computer use. They need to see if their child is being cyber bullied, or if their child is a bully.
But parents, be aware, kids are tricky. Many have two Facebook accounts and multiple emails,one set they share with the family , the other set is for social interaction, which could include sexting, the sharing of nude or suggestive photos of themselves.
“It’s increasing because of the lack of supervision with the technology. So a lot of times girls are left in their rooms with the computer. They are left in with internet access. They are left in their room with their cell phones. And the reason it’s increasing is that there’s so much that kids want to connect with,” said Roberts.
Roberts recommends parents keep a short leash on their kids internet use and make use of a family media contract that spells out a parent’s right to keep tabs on computer and cell phone use.
“Adding in what you should be doing online, what you shouldn’t be doing. How you should be treating other people online, how much you should be using these devices and making an action plan, if those rules are not adhered to?” she said.
Social media sites like Facebook and MySpace have started cracking down on cyber bullying by shutting down accounts flagged as abusive.
The Ad Council has produced spots that take on the phenomena. Their PSA tells kids not to say anything online they wouldn’t say in public.
Cyber Bullying has gotten to be such a problem that a state law was passed by the Texas Legislature in the last session that makes it illegal. The online harassment law went into effect last September. It outlaws the sending of e-mails, text messages or communications through social networking sites if the intent is to harm, defraud or intimidate another person.
However, the law clearly states that it applies to a person who is using a false name or someone else's identity.
So far one 16-year old San Antonio girl was charged under that statute.
However, the charges were later dropped. |
